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I want to be more than nothing, an emptiness inside. I want to know where in me that love does reside. Not the kind that is free to give but the one that means much more. The one that keeps you up at night and shakes you to your core. I want to feel that fear of longing and that of goodbyes. I want to shiver when I see myself through the look in your eyes.

I want to be certain that I have made the right choice. I want to know that you are my one not just a vice. Through hell and back and here you are again. That should mean something, right? I don’t know that I can trust my heart when my head is ready to fight. Fight against love so that the feeling is lifted. When I can go from being certain to that feeling being shifted. Wondering if I’m sifting through the rubble to try and bring back hope. The hope I once had that helped me to cope. There was a dream and a plan and you changed it all for me. Then it started with the brokenhearted and I decided to flee. This new dream that once festered of a house and a family, you had with someone else and I learned just to be. Now I don’t know how to unlock my heart….and only time will tell if you possess the key.

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