It’s that time of year again, ladies and gents, and by that I mean fall. The leaves are falling, the air is cooler, and change is definitely in the air. I am looking forward to some changes myself in the new year. Let’s say a restructuring of my life.
I would say that there are some women in my life that perhaps need some change as well. I went out to eat at Tequila’s with my friend Cierra the other night. I hadn’t seen her in awhile and that seems to be a running theme. Many people wonder why women have a hard time befriending other women. The reason is because many times when they get into relationships they disappear for at least a year. Once the honeymoon period is over you may actually get your friend back. This is both the decision of the woman and the man. Men will still go out and maintain contacts with their friends, where as women tend to isolate and just allow themselves to be consumed by their new sweetheart. If she does choose to go out more than a couple times a month then it causes conflict. He begins to get jealous and insecure. It’s a vicious cycle that I try to keep myself out of.
Recently I had lost someone whom I thought was a great friend to the relationship cycle nightmare. I just recently implied my facebook stalking skills to discover that she even lives near me now. Prior to the Tim fiasco she and I went out all of the time, we worked together, we hung out together…then she met Tim. At first I liked him well enough but something felt off to me. I later discovered that he was pretty controlling and wanted to keep her from her friends. We used to talk about her moving to south county and us being able to hang out more, but she doesn’t even talk to me at all because of a tiff with Tim. We went out to eat one night and because I owed her some money I paid the bill, Tim tried to argue and I got to the bill before he did so in a rage he storms out of the restaurant and demanded that she go, too. Although I went there with them and was without a vehicle. Nor did he like the fact that when he started talking about the two of them having children right away after only being together for about a month and him just recently turning 21, I interjected. I knew she didn’t even want to have kids and I explained the importance of taking it slow and just enjoying each other’s company. Unfortunately, it was I who was ousted from the relationship and he got to stay. Pretty shitty.
Now that we have covered some relationships that I feel need to change, aside from my own, I will say that I am guilty of being on a Gossip Girl bender thanks to Netflix. The last time that I was going through a depressive faze I watched Dawson’s Creek until every episode had been watched. I was going to say that I do not know why I do these things, but I do. Somewhere in my mind I will start a project to get myself through my mental state and I don’t feel like the issues are resolved until I have consumed every season of some guilty pleasure from my past. I know deep down that this really doesn’t do anything for me but somehow I have convinced myself that it has, so at the end I end up finding some renewed vigor with life.
Once February comes and my income tax has come into play I plan to completely restructure my own life. First off my work schedule may or may not be in existence. I am going to focus on getting a novel finished, starting my own side business and fixing things both financially and personal so I can start to focus on a bigger picture. I have an idea for a business that I would like to start as a long term goal but it will take a couple of years, so I am going to start building my plan, and really give it my best shot to make it happen. Thought this blog would go in another direction, but this is what came out. As you can see I have a lot on my mind. I hope to find some resolution in the upcoming new year, and I hope that you all do as well. Tell me, what do you want to see change in your life next year? Let’s start a discussion…