Jeremy had awoken to the sound of his alarm clock radio, the morning show host boomed, “Well it’s Monday, get up and get ready for work. Oh wait, I was confused, it’s actually Sunday, go back to sleep.” After a pause the host laughed and said, “APRIL FOOLS, get your lazy behinds up because folks, it is indeed Monday, April 1st. Be cautious of those coworkers trying to pull a fast one on ya. Kind like I just did.” The female cohost laughed and agreed that he had indeed made a good joke, although Jeremy sleepily rolled his eyes and hit the button on the top of the alarm to silence the annoying sounds coming from his radio. “Oh great, I love April Fool’s Day,” he said sarcastically. His eyes again closed, mouth open and glued to his pillow from the saliva that escaped his lips in the night. Jeremy rubbed a hand through his sweaty dark hair that had flattened across his baby blue 600 thread count, Egyptian Cotton sheets.
He walked toward the bathroom and found Amanda, his girlfriend of four years, sitting on the toilet, a white stick in her hand, and a shocked look upon her face as she raised her head to meet his gaze. “What’s up,” he said in his calm manner. Her brown eyes shiny from tears she said, “I’m pregnant.” Jeremy laughed, he was no fool, he knew exactly what today was, it was April Fool’s Day. “Do you really think that I am going to fall for that one?” Amanda was offended and slightly hostile, “WHAT? What are you talking about? I’m serious, Jeremy, LOOK!” She lunged the white stick outward toward him and the double lines meant nothing to him. “You did that with a marker,” he retorted. She removed herself from the toilet and stomped past him, knocking the stick out of his hands in tears. Jeremy shook his head in disbelief, “She has to be messing with me,” he mumbled softly. After he showered he emerged from the bathroom to find her sitting on the bed, dressed, with her phone in hand. “We are going to the doctor at 1 o’clock.” Jeremy proceeded to put on his black slacks and the Navy shirt and tie, “You know I have to work today, right? I mean really Amanda, I don’t have time for jokes.” Again the anger stirred in her, “What jokes? You are going to call off today and we are going to this appointment.” Thinking that he would play along decided to call the office and let them know he couldn’t make it in today, a family emergency was his excuse.
“Okay, Amanda, look I will play along, let’s go to the doctor’s office.” He picked up his cell and dialed his mother and in a mocking tone he tells her, “Hey mom, guess what? Amanda and I are going to be parents.” Jeremy’s mother was excited and started screaming on the telephone, he looked at Amanda and Amanda shot him a dirty look and a half smile. His mom said, “Oh, honey. I knew she was pregnant, I just knew it. I have to go, I have to call your father.” Jeremy’s mom abruptly hung up the phone and he assumed that Amanda must have told her yesterday of this now very elaborate prank that she was going to pull on him.
At noon they left the house to go to the obstetrician’s office, the car ride was awkward and silent. When they arrived Jeremy felt sweaty and nervous, starting to wonder if she was serious. They sat in the waiting room until Amanda was called to the back for the standard questioning and to check her vitals. Once she was put in a room Jeremy was allowed to come in. This was the first time he had been to a doctor’s appointment with her in which his girlfriend was going to be spread eagle on a table in front of a male doctor. Thinking of it now it made him very uncomfortable. He wiped his palms on his slacks and stared at her blankly. After a few moments of exchanging these awkward glances, Dr. Monroe appeared with her chart. The doctor washed his hands and put on gloves as the nurse that followed set up a tray. He began the exam, not so much looking for anything in particular, but feeling around. Amanda was obviously uncomfortable as she laid back on the cold exam table. She felt alone and overwhelmed and exhausted tears streamed from her eyes. Jeremy finally realized that she was not joking and grasped her hand tightly into his. The shock faded and he began to realize that he was actually going to be a father. He smiled his proud, triumphant smile at Amanda, and she smiled back, hesitantly. I mouthed, “I’m really sorry, but I love you.”
When Dr. Monroe had finished the exam he quickly pulled the gloves from his hands and tossed them into the trash and helped Amanda to sit up. “Well, you are most definitely pregnant. Ms. Jones, I would think it would be safe to assume that you are somewhere around 4 weeks along. Congratulations.” Jeremy and Amanda laughed at the situation, what a day to find out that you are pregnant. They thanked Dr. Monroe and prepared to leave. Jeremy held Amanda tightly and said, “I am really happy about this. I’m sorry that I thought you were joking.” She smiled. “I forgive you, you big idiot.”
When they arrived back home Jeremy decided to cook for her to make up for the fact that he had been such an asshole all day. She sat on the barstool at the island facing the stove and watched him prepare her macaroni and cheese. He knew that she loved it, and he wasn’t much of a chef, but it wasn’t hard to boil noodles and add a package of cheese sauce, all of which came in one box. Simple. She lay a hand upon her cheek and looked concerned. “What is it, Amanda.” Amanda sighed and said, “Well there is just one little problem with my being pregnant. I wasn’t going to tell you, but I guess I need to. It’s only fair.” Jeremy was worried, I mean he already thought to ask her to marry him sometime ago, but it just didn’t seem like the right time. What could be the problem? “Jeremy, the thing is, this baby…well, it’s isn’t yours.” Jeremy dropped the silvery package of still unopened cheese sauce onto the floor. “WHAT?” He screamed at her. “How could you?” Amanda burst into laughter, “April Fool’s!”